[Monthly Love Letter] June: About The Promises, Anxiety, and Faith

Oh-My-God, Seven months! ♡

I feel so grateful to know that we’ve passed more than a half year, and I still can’t believe that you’re here today, on my side, at June 3rd, which our month-versary. Thank you for keep the promise 🙂

Dear,
Yes today I’m happy, but also let me share and asked you my one hidden anxiety. What if someday, I tell you that I’m bored of this relationship? What would you do? Are you gonna be quiet and do nothing or you gonna do anything which finally make me feel that you are really a worth to fight for? Well, I don’t know why I ever thought about this, but, this is really disturb my mind.

But please do not ever think that I do not love you, no. I love you, and you know it. I just feel scared when someday we (especially me) are too bored too fight all of the differences between us. I’ve told you that we’re like really different, right?

One thing which I always keep in mind is, I believe in you, I have a faith that you are the one who could be my multiple other half; my brother, my partner in crime, my bestfriend, my lover. Just please don’t break it, please guard it with all your heart and powers.

Dear,
Anyway thank you for these seven months, its always been such a happiness since I have you, since I have the shoulder to lean, the ears to hear, the body to hug, the love to feel. Promise me you won’t ever left me in times of my troubles and happiness. I love you.

“I lay my love on you,
It’s all I want to do,
Every time I breathe I feel brand new,
You open up my heart,
Show me all your love, and walk right through,
As I lay my love on you….”

(Westlife – I Lay My Love on You)

ps: please don’t get too busy with your job, you’re getting skinnier (if you noticed), and also, I missed you a lot.

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A Random Feelings

I dont want to be spoiled, annoyed, or such a sucks person.
I don’t want to be childish,
I don’t meant to be difficult, not at all.

But, everytime I have to deal, to cover my sadness with a happy voice…. Sometimes it hurts.
I just tryin’ my best to make you sure that I’m alrite, I’m okay.
But still, I need some time to adapt with this kind of situation.

I know I could do everything, I know you also know that.
I know I always have a thousand ways to make myself happy, I know you also thought that.
I know I will always find a way to recover myself, to do the self-healing. I also know you’re absolutely agreed abt that.
I know I will do everything, everything…. in my power, to make people I loved smile happily. I hope you understand that.

If you still do not understand that, it’s okay. You may used to think that I’m different, but apparently it’s not.

and I’m really sorry for that.

ps: if you asking me what or why, Tbh I can’t explain. Not bcs I don’t want to, but I totally don’t know, what’s wrong with me lately. I just feel like, I don’t know. Really.

Maybe I just, Missed you.

[Monthly Love Letter] May: A Half Year of Relationship

Long Distance Relationship. Please describe me with one word. Go.

For me, it’s totally miserable. hahaha.

Anyway, I want to share you a story for these monthly love letter. A little longer than usual, so take your time.

Well, I admit that I got those karma(s). First, I used to love the ambience of the airport. I used to see some people waving goodbye, with tears in their eyes, and I thought they just exaggerated. Secondly, I used to think that ppl who did the LDR thingy is weird. Seeing their ‘so-called-significant-other’ once in a month for the least? Once I thought that those kind of relationship won’t work properly.

Then I met him, someone who finally made me hold the tears everytime I drop him off at the airport. Someone who breaks my heart everytime I see him walks away to the flight gate. He’s The person who destroy every single wall that I’ve been built. The man who finally convince me to deal with these stupid long distance relationship. The one who promised me that it gonna work for us.

I could tell you, long distance is sucks. Really. Not only bcs you couldn’t hold his hand or hug him everytime you need him, but the most important thing is how hard you maintain the communication between you and your significant other. You have to deal with all the misunderstanding and all the dramas bcs of it.

To be honest, until now, I still have a lil worries abt the relationship we lived in. How if someday we have a big fight and we can’t make it clear? How if someday I’m too spoiled ’til I can’t understand and accept the solution of some troubles? How if you or even me, meet someone new? How if someday we’re tired of this relationship……..

However, there’s still a happy thing which I feel from this long distance relationship. Yes, counting the days until we finally meet up. And finally, when you see him…. That’s the best part. All of your sadness, stress, worries, and exertion suddenly gone, it will replaced by a big smile. When you see him out from the airport, then you gonna say out loud at your heart, “That’s my man, he’s coming home….”

To the man whose been my someone’s matter for last 6 months, promise me nothing but one…. That you’re gonna stay close, eventhough we’re a thousand miles away. I know it’s gonna be a rough ways for us, but I’m sure that every obstacles, every problem, everything which doesn’t kill us, will make us stronger.

Wherever you are, please be safe. I love you.

I wonder how we can survive, this romance.
But in the end if I’m with you, I’ll take the chance.

(Richard Marx – Right Here Waiting)

ps: thank you for the visit (I thought I forgot to say thanks yesterday). Anyway, I’m soooo happy! Miss you already, and I can’t wait till our next meet up! ♡

[Monthly Love Letter] April : About The (almost) Half-Year

Five Months! 🙂

Welcome back to monthly report (ups sorry, I mean monthly letter) hehehe.

Ah, it’s been a month since he left me to another island due to his work (really?). If someone’s asked me, how long he’s been gone then I answered with ‘a month’, then I’m sure the next sentence I would hear is “Woow, it’s been a month? It’s feels like he’d left last week. Time flies, rite?”

I smiled bitterly. Deep inside me, I wanna shout, “Are you kidding? it’s like a year to me. If you haven’t feel how long distance feels, please be nice, be quiet. Bcs it’s really hard for me (well, I hope it’s hard for him too, hahaha).

Sometimes I wondered, could I, we, survived this relationship? I just can’t imagine how, to be faraway from someone that really matter to you, someone that you want to tell everything on a first place, or simply someone you can hug if you need a support.

And also, there’s a time when we lives in two different worlds, well, not hearing his voice in a day it such a nightmare, but yap, I have to get used to it. I have to train myself for not being such a spoiled.

Anyway, despite all of the crazy things abt the long distance thingy, I still blessed for what I’ve got. I’m blessed that I have someone who always try to make sure that I have a great day before I called a day, even if I had a bad day, he know how to flip it back. Someone who always fulfill his promises and always try to make me happy, at least by giving me the goodnight greetings and kisses from faraway. He’s my daily-and-primary moodbooster ♡

I love you from a thousand miles away! ♡

Takkan pernah terlintas, tuk tinggalkan kamu, jauh dariku, kasihku….

Karena aku milikmu, kamu milikku, separuh nyawaku, hidup bersamamu

Berdua kita lewati, meski hujan badai takkan berhenti

Sehidup semati, mentari pun tahu, ku cinta padamu……

(Jaz – Teman Bahagia)

ps: can’t wait to see you, darling! I guess I’m going to love April as much I love November…. 🙂